Monday, October 21, 2013

Emery Collen Jolley 10/21/12

A year ago today at about this time, 8:30 pm, I was sitting in a hospital bed after laboring for about ten hours and I was still only at maaaaybe 3 centimeters. Everyone was saying that I would probably my baby the next day. But they were also a little worried about our little girls heart rate dropping a bit whenever I had a contraction. My sister (in law) Katelyn was the only one saying, guys we just have to know that she is going to come before midnight and it will happen. Pretty soon I started to feel a little pressure, which soon turned into feeling the contractions... which if you have an epidural shouldn't happen. Apparently I had used up all of the juice through out the long day and my epidural wore off. Pretty much as soon as the epidural wore off I started REALLY feeling pressure. So they checked me and i was at 5 centimeters within an hour. About 30 minutes after that, and Sorry for anyone who gets weird about bowel movements, I seriously felt like I was going to poop right there and then with my mother, mother in law, father in law,  brother, sister in laws, and brother in law all right there in the room.  When I told the nurse how I was feeling they ushered everyone (besides Stephen) out of the room to check me and I had progressed to ten REALLY fast. Everyone came in wished us luck and then add they were sent out to wait in the waiting room I was told that I would be pushing for about 2 hours. However at 10:41 pm after only 3 contractions I had delivered my 6lb 6ploz tiny Emery Colleen. She had her cord wrapped around her neck twice, which is why her heart rate kept dropping, so Stephen didn't get to cut it. It might have been the hormones, endorphins, or a combination of the two but I couldn't help but cry. Even covered in goo I loved her.

I always knew I wanted to be a mom. When people would ask what I wanted to be when I grew up I would always say that I wanted to be one. And I really love babies, especially ones that I am related to. I just figured I would love her like that. But it is so much more. It's more than I could try to explain.

Not only did I fall in love with my girl but I fell more in love with my husband as I watched him mold into a dad. I knew he would be a good dad because of the love that he has for his nephews. That being said I didn't know just how hands on he would be. Even though he almost pukes with every poopy diaper, he still changes them. Since I wake up at the butt crack of dawn he has started to take over the midnight  wake ups, which thankfully only happen once and a while now. He constantly wants to hold, play, and be with her. I am so thankful that I married him, and that I married into his family.

They have been there for us almost every day for the past year in one way or another. Considering that they live only around the corner makes that pretty easy to do though. When I went back to work after my maternity leave mother in law started watching Emery every day without hesitation. When my mother in law wasn't available my sister in law always has been there to fill in.

And last but not least my own mother who I strive to be and love like every day. She has always been there for me, and if she couldn't be then I know that she really really wishes that she could be. When she can she drops what she is doing to talk to me, give me advice and to just listen to me when I'm scared or upset. She has always my best friend. And I truly hope that I can have that same relationship with Emery. I miss her so much all of the time. I wish that I could see her more than just a few times a year. It breaks my heart that she can't share the sweet moments with me and my little family whenever I want to. I know that I can be a little annoying with how many videos and pictures I post on Facebook and
Instagram but I just don't want my family in Oregon to miss anything.

Happy birthday to you miss Emmie-Lou. I didn't know that I could love someone so much before you came along.

Added a few if my favorite photos from this past year